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A Safeword is a codeword or series of codewords that are sometimes used in BDSM to mean that a submissive (or 'bottom') is reaching a physical, emotional or moral boundary or for the dominant (or 'top') to stop the sceneplay. Safewords are agreed upon before playing a scene by all participants. Many organized BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events.

Safewords can be used by the dominant as well to indicate that they are uncomfortable with where things are going and need to stop or discuss the situation out of scene.

In good play Safeword is considered no-fault. People should not be looked down at for using it. Nor should the other party take it as an indication of their having made the other party do it.

It is also considered good practice to talk with your partner when possible to resolve any lingering feelings on the subject. The only scene that has "gone bad" is one where there are sore feelings about it after the fact.

On A Muck

Safeword in a Muck context generally is a request to stop the scene and/or discuss it Out Of Character. As with Real Life BDSM play, it implies that either the top of bottom has reached some limit, and further negotiation or just time to cool down is needed.

It is also common on a Muck to discuss the scene in pages, whispers or with the OOC command with out actually using safeword. These Out Of Character channels of communication can often prevent getting to the point of needing to stop by giving more communication than is sometimes possible in a RL BDSM scene.

Tapestries Global Safeword

On Tapestries Safeword in any OOC context is always recognized. Other safewords may be used with prearrangement.

Green, Yellow and Red

Some partners have different gradations of safeword, such as green to mean "ok" or even "harder" or "more," yellow to mean "slow down" or "stop doing that" without stopping the scene, and red to mean "let's stop the scene". Another way to use safe words is for a 'top' to ask the 'bottom' "What is your color?" -- So in addition to red and yellow, green is a common safe word used to indicate, "I'm fine" or even "push harder."

This is not seen commonly on MUCKs, but you may encounter it with people who play Real Life, so you should be aware of this form of safeword.

Real Life Uses

Many Tapestries users do not have Real Life experience, and seek to apply their Muck knowledge to RL. Before you do, you should more deeply investigate these concepts, and Safeword is one of the most important to do so with.

For more information on Real Life uses of Safeword, we suggest you look here:

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